Dan 3

Dan 3

After supper, I was taken out my tent and brought to Lieutenant Roberts. I  stand before him I was accused of standing off my post and losing governors hunting dog.Which is true. “Have a good night sleep and you will be flogged in the morning” “yes sir alright sir”. There was chirps of nearby birds in the air we were walking to find a good spot to whip me “alright boys here’s the spot” said lieutenant Roberts Goodwin build a triangle here under this tree I was behind the tree with Goodwin we were building the triangle then out of no where warawi appeared.


“Oh no aren’t you already in enough trouble Dan?” said Goodwin look she is holding something in this animal skin oh my gosh Goodwin look oh what is it oh my it is a puppy many lieutenant Roberts will not whip you if you show him this thank you so much Waruwi hehe she said come on lets show the lieutenant. Dan it is ready I only gave the dog back to the native that owned it oh be quiet also ok a dog it is a baby so it would be easier to train it me see oh yeah good work dan you shouldn’t be flogged/whipped good job dan thanks sir your in charge of it dan yes sir so we walked back to camp.






3 thoughts on “Dan 3

  1. Your story is good but I noticed some direct speech. You need to use indirect speech. My second thing is that the story is not accurate as Dan didn’t ‘steal’ the dog, he was returning it to Waruwi. The story can use accurate grammar but like I said before , the story is good.

  2. I liked how you added a lot of detail in the story and it was also accurate. What I think you could improve on is using better grammar and punctuation and remembering to use capital letters with Dan’s name. You could also use less direct speech as this is a diary entry and you wouldn’t usually use direct speech in a diary entry.

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